Source: Radio New Zealand
A statue showing Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein; a roll of bread; the Dalai Lama; a lost and confused kitten; a Fabergé egg that went on a journey. AFP / supplied/ NZ Police / RNZ
2024 set a high bar to beat when it came to things being generally weird, but 2025 comfortably rose to the occasion.
That was perhaps a certainty set in motion late last year, when Americans took a look around and decided four more years of chaos was just what the world needed.
Things were no less unpredictable at home either, with no shortage of strange news filed by RNZ’s own reporters in the past 12 months.
January
It didn’t take long for the first ‘I cannot believe this is an actual headline’ news time to appear, with ‘Kiwi Water Park owner feels “victimised” by iPhone weather app’ appearing before midday on 1 January.
A few days later Meta scrambled to delete AI characters it put on Instagram after it emerged “proud black queer Momma” Liv was actually the creation of a dozen people, most of them white men and none of them Black. Another, presenting himself as a “warm grandpa”, eventually admitted he was nothing more than “a heart of algorithms and profit-driven design”. And before it had a chance to cry tears in rain, Brian too joined Roy Batty in silicon heaven.
The AI creation “Liv” was presented as a “proud black queer Momma” by Meta. Screenshot / Meta
Then we had a report of a fun new thing to do in the capital – go on a “tour of sites of murder, execution, suffering”. Should probably mention the tour focused on historical events, not the present day.
Later in the month RNZ met a woman whose “bread and butter” was removing cockroaches from people’s ears, and a mayor so fed up with his own council he removed a view-blocking abandoned double trailer unit himself.
A man in Invercargill was arrested after choosing to rob perhaps the worst possible victims – a group of elite cyclists.
You’d think selling a house once inhabited by a globally adored singer like Adele would be easy, right? Not if she once suggested the place was haunted, apparently.
In Napier, a woman was embarrassed to tell her visitors to find her house on ‘Pornwall Road’ after someone changed the C to a P. “It’s blatant unnecessary exposure to crude words,” a local shop owner said.
And rounding out an eventful first month of 2025 was a report that concluded the New Zealand economy would be significantly smaller if we didn’t drink so much beer.
February
“I’d ask if she could change her name for starters,” rising MMA fighter Taylor Swift told CNN, sick of the jokes and sniggers that greeted his every entrance.
New Zealand First MP Shane Jones, fresh off yelling “send the Mexicans home” in Parliament, dug a deeper hole by saying he’d had “exciting nocturnal experiences with the Latin American people” then offered the ambassador a shot of tequila.
Shane Jones. RNZ / Samuel Rillstone
Scientists in Italy came up with what they claimed to be the perfect way to boil an egg, unconcerned their method required more than half an hour of constant attention.
Saturday Morning spoke to a woman who had lived nearly a decade without using money who was beginning to wonder how she was going to pay a for a much-needed dentist appointment.
‘Africa’ by Toto this month was declared the ‘perfect’ song by a group of presumably tone-deaf neurologists and music enthusiasts.
On 27 February, RNZ reported on a woman who had given birth on a flight from Auckland to New Plymouth. Sadly for the baby, its arrival happened after the plane had landed, so its birth certificate will always say ‘New Plymouth’.
Meanwhile in Hamilton, people are “defecating, hanging clothes lines, taking drugs, begging and displaying threatening behaviour” in the city centre, but it’s those taking showers in the Garden Place fountains that really ground one councillor’s gears.
March
In March, England’s top cricketing body was forced to apologise for a joke about the pope that failed to hit the stumps, claiming his heartfelt post about an important day on the Catholic calendar was actually about a cricket match.
Government coalition partner New Zealand First announced it wanted to “remove woke ‘DEI’ regulations” from legislation that it helped put into place five years ago, despite its own constitution urging diversity in candidate selection. Amazingly, this wasn’t even the party’s most circus-level flip-flop this year (more on that below).
The ACT Party took offence at a social media post by Te Pāti Māori co-leader Rawiri Waititi that said his lawns were getting a “good f… hiding” because he was treating them like David Seymour.
Speaking of Seymour, in March his much-maligned school lunch programme delivered a lunch consisting of simply just a single bread roll.
April
The second Trump administration’s tough new tariffs spared virtually no one, even slapping a 10 percent levy on “a barren sub-Antarctic Australian territory without a human population, but four different species of penguin”. The president then posted an AI-generated picture of himself as the pope (and that wasn’t even the most offensive of his posts this year).
Meanwhile in Wellington, about 700 people squashed together on Cuba Street to watch a man fold a fitted sheet.
In Queensland, a woman gave birth to someone else’s baby after the wrong embryo was implanted.
A Far North man’s foot was lost in the mail, or possibly stolen.
A Napier man running on the lime paths in Ahuriri was “a bit shocked” to see a few dozen cows break into an estuary for a paddle.
A Napier man out running was shocked to see 20-30 cows in the water at the estuary in Napier about half a kilometre from Pandora Pond. LDR / Linda Hall
The US Navy lost a $100m jet when it literally fell off the side of an aircraft carrier.
May
Insert your own ‘but would you want to?’ reply here, but in May researchers decided to find out if it was possible to survive a nuclear war in Palmerston North.
Chinese scientists were looking into far more important matters, like if it was possible to use AI to speak to a cat.
The US Navy lost a second jet off the same aircraft carrier it did in April.
The Livestock Improvement Corporation’s hall of fame for cattle that sire children received only its second female entry in 70 years, following 59 males and just one other female.
An Auckland kitten used up one of its nine lives when it was found in the bonnet of a vehicle travelling down one of the city’s motorways.
Cat-astrophe avoided after purrfect find in car engine. Supplied/NZ Police
Some Southland Hospital staff were told they could only talk to each other for a maximum of five minutes a day.
Japan’s tourism industry took a hit mid-year when psychics, inspired by a comic book, began predicting a huge disaster.
Mutton Birds singer Don McGlashan had his biggest hit in years at the Aotearoa Music Awards when he told National MP Chris Bishop to “shut up”, calling him a “dickhead” for heckling a performance by Stan Walker. Later in the year he told RNZ he would have said “honourable dickhead” if he knew it was a government minister he was speaking to.
May ended the way every month should, with a truck crash that results in the release of 250 million bees.
June
At the start of June, the first Tasman War broke out with an Australian Navy attack on New Zealand communications infrastructure. Okay, perhaps that’s twisting the truth a bit – but the HMS Canberra did ‘accidentally’ knock out internet and radio transmission across parts of New Zealand. There was no apology noted in the story, so tensions remain high.
Two men were jailed for stealing an 18-carat golden toilet called ‘America’, on exhibition at the birthplace of Winston Churchill.
Aussies complained they had been fooled into buying ‘teacup’ pigs that grow into enormous hogs.
In a scene that would make John Cleese proud, a British man robbed a post office armed only with a banana.
Nelson began wondering whether displaying one of only two statues in the world of disgraced former US President Richard Nixon was on-brand for the city.
The Dalai Lama. AFP / Sanjay Baid
July
The second half of the year began with the Dalai Lama announcing that unlike the recently deceased Pope Francis, he planned to live well beyond 130.
After successfully reviving Lord of the Rings, the Beatles and nimbyism, Sir Peter Jackson in July said he was investing money into efforts to bring back the moa.
Some people might that’s cool – but at least thanks to scientists in Chile, we now have a way to test it.
Trump’s silliest utterance of July (at least in front of cameras) was telling the president of a country whose national language is English that he spoke good English.
Did you know the big bang’s source was found this year? In Wellington Hospital, of all places? Okay, might have been a slightly smaller big bang.
Moviegoers at Auckland’s Hollywood Cinema were blindsided by a “baffling” and “uncomfortable” AI-generated video of Russell Crowe as a medieval monk on a 14th century pilgrimage to “the Hollow Wood”, a medieval cinema “established by the first European settlers in 1349AD”.
A real video that made headlines in July was the infamous affair caught on the big screen at a Coldplay concert.
Good news! Asteroid 2024 YR4 in July was confirmed to not be on a collision course with the Earth. Instead, it might hit the moon.
Screenshot from Hollywood Avondale’s AI pre-show video. Damon Packard / YouTube screenshot
August
A senior public servant’s remains were taken to his government department’s office for a memorial service.
A woman who bought a bag of potatoes and found a rock in it was told by the Pak’nSave she bought it from she could keep it.
The Ministry of Education canned a book for young rangatahi readers because it had too many Māori words,
Also in August, the government confirmed for the small price of $671 million, it had locked in a contract to receive no ferries at all.
New obesity research from Auckland University found a single pill of ‘good’ faecal bacteria could significantly improve a patient’s health.
And is anything sacred? A low fat yoghurt won NZ’s best ice cream award this year.
A handout image shows an artist’s digital life reconstruction of ‘Spicomellus afer’, an ankylosaur dinosaur that lived over 165 million years ago. MATT DEMPSEY
In Morocco the coolest-ever dinosaur skeleton was found, “lavishly adorned with armour and spikes”.
September
The month began with a multimillionaire businessman making a “huge mistake”, caught on camera snatching a tennis star’s hat from a child at the US Open.
Looking to one-up the Dalai Lama, Russia’s President Vladimir Putin and Chinese President Xi Jinping were caught on a hot mic discussing organ transplants and the possibility that humans could live to 150 years old.
Argentina police recovered a painting stolen by the Nazis decades ago after it was spotted in a real estate photo.
Too much time on the porcelain throne can make you nearly 50 percent more likely to develop haemorrhoids, scientists confirmed.
In 1995, Mount Ruapehu exploded in spectacular fashion, triggering a somewhat haphazard emergency response – but reminiscing to RNZ at the 30th anniversary, one volcanologist admitted it was the “best day of my life”.
This month’s dumbest Trump-adjacent news emerged in the final week, when a statue of the president and his old party buddy Jeffrey Epstein was erected in front of the US Capitol.
Statues depict US President Donald Trump and sex abuser Jeffrey Epstein holding hands and dancing in front of the Capitol, in Washington, DC, US, on 23 September, 2025. ALLISON BAILEY / AFP
That same day, the following quote appeared in a legit, real news story: “I believe adding more sausages to the situation will certainly improve our democracy rather than harm it.” Cannot be explained succinctly, you’ll have to read the whole story.
The month ended with the head of the FBI giving the head of the NZ Police an illegal 3D-printed firearm.
October
Nico the Great, a literal cat burglar in Hamilton, since June was reported to have stolen more than 200 items – “many of them women’s undies.”
Canadian rapper Drake lost a legal battle with his own record label, which released a song by a rival artist that called him a “certified paedophile”.
Russia proposed building a tunnel between itself and the United States.
And Trump (you thought we’d get through a month without him?) told former Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd what a lot of Australians have probably always wanted to tell him: “I don’t like you either, and I probably never will.”
A surfboard lost in Tasmania’s in 2024 washed up thousands of kilometres away in Raglan.
For reasons probably indeterminable, Dictionary.com decided to reveal its word of the ‘year’ at the end of October, and even more baffling, they awarded it to two numbers – six and seven, or as the kids have been saying, ‘six-seven’.
November
Lord of the Rings star Elijah Wood casually walked in and surprised a Rotorua couple at their Hobbit-themed wedding at the Hobbiton movie set in Waikato.
‘Prank star’ Daniel Jarvis lined up with the Kangaroos during the national anthems before the second Ashes Test in Liverpool, and was arrested.
Paris unveiled a lottery with a macabre twist: Instead of a cash, entrants could win the right to share cemetery space with Doors singer Jim Morrison and writer Oscar Wilde.
Leroy Carter’s dream All Blacks call-up nearly turned sour when he discovered his passport had been chewed up by his dog, days before leaving for Argentina.
The funniest story of November was no doubt the brazen Louvre heist, specifically when it emerged one of the famous museum’s security passwords was just ‘LOUVRE’.
Some in France however found riches in their own back yard – a man in Lyon finding $1.4m worth of gold bars and coins while digging a swimming pool.
A Taranaki-based honey maker unveiled a two-litre jar of Manuka with a $500,000 price tag. Not to be beaten, Apple – the computer company, need I remind you – unveiled a $230 sock).
Hollywood star Jennifer Lawrence revealed she had been getting into anonymous fights on TikTok.
In ironic twists, New Zealand’s biggest landlords group on Facebook got evicted and the country’s top cop got busted for speeding then caught taking an ocean dip during a tsunami advisory.
An Australian restaurant chain apologised for cursing Oscar Piastri’s Formula 1 title hopes with an offer of a free burger every time he placed on the podium, the driver constantly losing since the promotion began.
Trump’s (yay, there he is again!) daughter made her debut in the LPGA and came dead last.
A well-timed photograph of a Kiwi runner about to get his face stomped in a race at the World Championships in Tokyo was nominated for the 2025 World Athletics Photograph of the Year.
Geordie Beamish of Team New Zealand avoids the foot of Jean-Simon Desgagnes of Team Canada Emilee Chinn
Gareth Morgan declared victory over his haters with the addition of feral cats to the government’s Predator Free 2050 eradication programme.
NZ First promised to repeal a bill they had literally just voted into law. (Told a bigger flip-flop was on its way!)
People expressed surprise Millennials, with everything they’ve had to endure, were getting more left-wing as they grew older.
December
A Wellington dad did more than 4000 pull-ups in a row and almost died.
Local fashionistas were concerned the ‘ugly shoe trend’ in the northern hemisphere would soon make its way to New Zealand.
A cat that vanished 14 years ago was reunited with its owner, begging the question whether someone out there was under the impression their cat of 14 years had gone missing.
A Fabergé locket worth more than $33,500, swallowed by a man during an alleged theft at an Auckland jewellery store. This is apparently an ‘after’ shot. Supplied / NZ police
And finally – because what could follow it? – a Fabergé locket worth more than $33,500, swallowed by a man during an alleged theft at an Auckland jewellery store, was later “recovered” by police. And yes, ‘recovered’ means exactly what you think it does.
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– Published by EveningReport.nz and AsiaPacificReport.nz, see: MIL OSI in partnership with Radio New Zealand