Public Media – Page 345

March 1, 2026

What is duty sex and how do you stop having it?

Source: Radio New Zealand

It’s the end of a long, exhausting day and you’ve finally crawled into bed.

Rest is imminent.

But your partner is in the mood.

Understanding what is getting in the way of you wanting or enjoying sex is helpful to reflect on.

Unsplash

. It’s been a while, after all.

Obligatory or duty sex is sex you feel obliged to have, either out of guilt or to meet an expectation, explains Kassandra Mourikis, a sex and relationship therapist in Naarm/Melbourne.

“You don’t want to feel like you are letting your partner down. Or you want to feel normal, because you’ve learnt that you need to have sex to be a good partner.”

You might worry the relationship would be at risk if you don’t have sex, she says.

“Sex becomes this obligation to fulfil and feel more like a chore — there’s not really any wanting there.”

Duty sex is most common in long-term relationships, Mourikis says, but can also happen in casual relationships where sex is the basis of the connection.

If you’re having sex when you don’t feel like it, and it isn’t sitting right with you, how do you break the cycle?

Is dutiful sex just maintenance sex?

Maintenance sex and dutiful sex feel emotionally — and even physically — different from each other, says Mourikis.

“Maintenance sex is a choice to prioritise sex even when there isn’t strong or spontaneous desire for it because you know that when you get there it’s enjoyable, but getting started can feel like a barrier sometimes.”

Maintenance sex is sex you are willing to have because it’s important to you, she says, which differs from dutiful sex “which is an obligation and often tolerated or endured”.

Sex as a “gift” also differs to duty sex.

Mourikis explains sex as a gift with Betty Martin’s Wheel of Consent, which shows the variation between willing and wanting.

“Sometimes there isn’t heaps of wanting … or might not be our first preference … but willing is ‘I know it’s important to you, and sometimes I get pleasure from giving you pleasure.’

“‘But I’m not going beyond my limits — and that limits conversation is important.”

Tanya Koens is a sexologist and relationship counsellor based in the NSW Northern Rivers/Bundjalung Nation.

She says we do things for our kids we might not feel like, for example take them to the zoo, because we know they will enjoy it.

“Sometimes we do things because we love people or care about them.”

But we don’t often think of intimacy with our partners the same way, she says.

How obligatory sex differs from sexual coercion

There’s a difference between having sex when you’re not in the mood and sexual coercion — and that difference is consent.

Mourikis says if you feel like you have to say yes to sex to stop someone pressuring you, “that’s sexual abuse — that’s not consensual sex”.

Sexual coercion involves behaviour that is not always criminal but is usually abusive in some way.

While the line between obligatory sex and sexual coercion may seem “blurred”, knowing where the pressure is coming from can help separate the two, suggests Mourikis.

“Some people will feel like sex is something they owe their partner and there is that level of entitlement and power there … That pushes it more to coercion or pressure from somebody else.

“Coercion or pressure does come from an expectation, and there is a consequence for not having sex.

“There is also a power imbalance.”

Koens says an example of sexual coercion might be when there are consequences for a woman if she doesn’t engage in sex, such as her partner becoming angry.

“Sometimes [the partner] is mean to the dog, or the kids, so the wife might have sex to maintain peace around the house.”

You’re not responsible for your partner’s sexual needs

Koens says there are many reasons people may feel obliged to have sex, but overarching is the societal conditioning that in monogamous relationships people are responsible for each other’s sexual needs.

“Which is not true.

“I tell people every day: your partner is not responsible for your sexual needs.”

Koens also refers to duty sex as “pull my nightie down when you’re done sex”.

She says while it may be consensual, the person engaging in it doesn’t really desire, or enjoy, the sex they’re having.

And there are lots of reasons desire might be absent, Koens says.

“I would be asking why you’re not enjoy sex — is it very penis centric? Does your partner know your body? Have you had kids? Are you all touched out? Is your partner sharing the workload? Is there pain?”

Mourikis says duty sex can build resentment and have long-term effects on a couple’s connection because “limits are being overridden.”

Stopping the cycle of duty sex

Understanding what is getting in the way of you wanting or enjoying sex is helpful to reflect on, says Mourikis.

“Then also thinking about what kind of sex you might enjoy having, and being able to break the cycle. Can you actually set some limits here?

“What are you willing to do, are there certain things that feel OK and comfortable?”

It’s helpful to communicate this with your partner, and or engaging the support of a professional such as a sex therapist, she says.

“Ultimately, are you able to bring up the conversation with your partner and talk about, ‘This is what I am noticing, and I feel like I am just going along with sex, or feel a lot of pressure or anxiety around it, and I want us to change that’.

“If your partner is not on board to have that conversation, sex therapy can be great for that, but if they are not willing to talk about it [at all], you are more likely to continue having dutiful sex.”

Koens says you can approach the conversation by being curious about what your partner enjoys about sex, and then expressing what you like, and don’t like — and how that makes you feel.

“They can’t read you mind.

“[Talk about] how you can create conditions where you both want to show up and have a nice time together, and what would that look like?

“It might not look like a full porno film, but maybe soft, cuddly sex, or gentle touching.

“When you realise what each party expects, you might find that you think each other are expecting different things, and you won’t know unless you talk about.”

– Published by EveningReport.nz and AsiaPacificReport.nz, see: MIL OSI in partnership with Radio New Zealand

March 1, 2026

How March Madness may make your Monday morning commute longer

Source: Radio New Zealand

March heralds the busiest traffic patterns of the year in many big cities. RNZ / Lucy Xia

Explainer – If your Monday morning commute feels a little madder than usual this week, it’s not just you.

The peak transport season known as ‘March Madness’ kicks off around the country, with the University of Auckland starting its new year on 2 March and many others following suit.

“More people use Auckland’s transport network from February until early April than at any other time of year,” Auckland Transport (AT) group manager of public transport operations Rachel Cara said.

Why exactly is March Madness a thing?

It may be a couple months into the new year, but between the confluence of universities, schools and the last stragglers from holiday getaways all returning, it always puts a strain on transport systems.

“It’s basically the highest level of transport demand that exists,” director of transport advocacy website Greater Auckland Matt Lowrie told Nine to Noon recently.

“One of the things that happens is that we get lulled into a false sense of security of how easy it is when the traffic is low and during those school holidays.”

In Auckland, AT predicts more than 2 million passenger journeys each week – with buses, trains and ferries making 13,500 trips a day.

Cara said that Auckland’s “network will be the busiest on weekdays during peak times, between 7am-9am and 3pm-6pm, with Wednesdays generally the busiest weekday.”

Discounted fares for Auckland university students have also been increased this year.

“We do anticipate higher spikes during March after tertiary concessions recently changed from being 25 percent to 40 percent,” Cara said. “We’ve already seen a 25 percent uplift in trips compared to same time last year, and this is likely to rise as university students come back.”

Lowrie said “we’ve often forgotten how bad it was at this time last year because even throughout after April when March Madness normally runs through to about Easter, it does drop off for sort of the rest of the year”.

RNZ / Rayssa Almeida

Does it happen everywhere or just in lucky old Auckland?

It’s definitely not just a JAFA thing, and is seen around the country – especially in areas with universities.

“We would definitely say March Madness is a phenomenon also experienced across Otago,” said Otago Regional Council implementation lead for transport Julian Phillips.

“Each February and March, public transport networks in Dunedin and Queenstown experience significant seasonal variations in demand at peak times.”

Like everywhere else, school, university study and returns from summer leave add up to put pressure on networks, he said.

“Travel patterns, particularly for school students, also take a few weeks to settle as families establish new routines.”

Wellington also has a busy month ahead.

“We expect patronage to lift on Metlink buses, trains, and ferries during March,” Metlink senior manager of operations Paul Tawharu said.

Wellington reached 2.6 million bus boardings in March 2025, he said.

State Highway 16 full of slow moving morning traffic as the sun rises. RNZ / Cole Eastham-Farrelly

How do transport agencies prepare for it?

Auckland has added larger buses on 37 popular routes, an additional eight school bus services for Term 1, and has “banker” buses ready to deploy as needed.

Higher load services include the NX1 on the Northern Busway, which offers 3300 seats per hour capacity during peak time.

In Otago, “we are closely monitoring services, adjusting vehicle allocations where possible, and prioritising high-demand routes to support customers,” said Phillips.

“We appreciate passengers’ patience during this peak period and remain focused on getting everyone to their destinations safely and on time.”

The long-awaited $5.5 billion Auckand City Rail Link (CRL), the country’s most expensive transport infrastructure, is expected to open later this year, and AT is gearing up for it.

“With new trains arriving ahead of CRL we are now operating over 40 peak trips, including school trips with six-car trains,” Cara said.

However, the rail network is still expected to face some periodic shutdowns as CRL work and testing continues this year.

“These will be limited to weekends and public holidays as much as possible, however we are asking Aucklanders to be prepared for longer closures in the April school holidays,” Auckland Transport director of public transport and active modes Stacey van der Putten told RNZ.

Once the CRL is fully up to speed, she said it will make a difference for March Madness and madness all the rest of the year.

“It is expected to lead to less congestion on our roads, than if it had not been built, based on analysis at the business case stage.”

The CRL will allow easier access by train and improved connections, van der Putten said.

“This will benefit those who do need to drive by reducing congestion, delays and wear and tear.

“The reason we invest in better public transport is to attract more choice users – this frees roads up to be used by people who genuinely need them.”

Public transport use can decrease road traffic. Photo/Auckland Transport

Is there any way I can avoid all this traffic madness?

If you’re driving, take the extra volumes into account.

“Plan ahead and allow extra time,” Cara said.

In Auckland, the AT Journey Planner app can help plan your trip. Other local apps or Google and Apple maps can also be useful.

“If possible, car-pool with family, friends or colleagues so you can travel on T2 and T3 lanes to reduce journey times and help disperse traffic,” she said.

In Wellington, Tawharu said public transport can ease the pain.

“We encourage our region’s commuters to reduce congestion and transport emissions by leaving their cars at home and catching Metlink services.”

Greater Wellington also has an annual Movin’ March programme, in partnership with local councils and primary schools, celebrating the benefits of walking, scooting and biking to school.

With packed buses and trains, Cara said being considerate will go a long way – and don’t forget to tag on and off with your payment or AT HOP card.

“Please be patient. You may need to wait for the next bus on our high frequency corridors.

“If standing on a busy bus or train carriage, move down as far as possible, filling every seat to create as much room as possible for more people to get on board. Do not leave belongings on the seat next to you and move down in buses and train carriages to create space for others.”

It’s not required, but it doesn’t hurt to thank the driver too as you leave. After all, for them, March Madness can often feel like it runs the whole year long.

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– Published by EveningReport.nz and AsiaPacificReport.nz, see: MIL OSI in partnership with Radio New Zealand

March 1, 2026

Search on for fisherman swept away near Piha

Source: Radio New Zealand

Lifeguards, Coastguard and police have been searching for a fisherman missing from rocks at Union Bay on Auckland’s west coast. Supplied/ Auckland Council

A search is underway for a man swept off rocks south of Auckland’s Piha.

The man was fishing at Karekare’s Union Bay when he was swept away, a police spokesperson said.

The incident was reported about 10.15am on Sunday, and searchers were sent from police, Coastguard and Surf Lifesaving.

But by 1.45pm the man had not been found, the spokesperson said.

Surf Lifesaving New Zealand (SLSNZ) said the man was washed away at Farley Point: “A witness to the incident raised the alarm with surf lifeguards from Karekare Surf Life Saving Club.”

Lifeguards searched the area between Karekare Beach and Mercer Bay using four rescue watercraft/jetskis and an inflatable rescue boat, while the Piha search and rescue squad was also sent. However lifeguards had been stood down at 1pm, SLSNZ said.

Further searches were expected to be carried out at low tide.

It comes after the body of a kayaker was found in Auckland’s Waiwera on Sunday.

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– Published by EveningReport.nz and AsiaPacificReport.nz, see: MIL OSI in partnership with Radio New Zealand

March 1, 2026

Hurricanes lose first-five for rest of Super Rugby campaign

Source: Radio New Zealand

Brett Cameron, while playing for the Hurricanes in 2024. Aaron Gillions / www.photosport.nz

The Hurricanes have lost one of their lynchpins for the rest of the Super Rugby season.

First-five Brett Cameron is due to undergo surgery after sustaining a significant knee injury during last week’s match against Moana Pasifika.

“It’s obviously hugely disappointing to lose one of our best players in game one, especially given it comes after an ACL injury on his other knee,” Hurricanes head coach Clark Laidlaw said.

“We’re here to support and help him through it, initially with the surgery and then with the rehab.

“We know it’s a tough road ahead, but we also know that he’s up for it and we’re up for it to support and rehab him so he can get back to playing as soon as possible.

“As tough as it is, we have amazing medics, a great facility and we know how to rehab players really well, so we’ll get on with that once the surgery has been done,” Laidlaw said.

Cameron has been a Hurricanes player since 2023, after being at the Crusaders between 2017 and 2020.

He played one test for the All Blacks in 2018.

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– Published by EveningReport.nz and AsiaPacificReport.nz, see: MIL OSI in partnership with Radio New Zealand

March 1, 2026

How To Dad’s Jordan Watson: ‘Cheap and cheerful is what’s worked for me’

Source: Radio New Zealand

Back in 2015, wearing stubbies and a bush shirt, Jordan Watson (Tainui) made a joke video for a friend from work who was about to become a father.

Two years later, he went full-time making social media videos as How To DAD. Keeping it real and ignoring the Instagram fashion for “everything so polished and shot in 4K with amazing drones and colour grading” has been key to Watson’s success on social media, he says.

“The cheap and cheerful is what’s worked for me, and that’s how we just keep it … I just wake up, and if I have a funny idea while I’m in the shower or making breakfast, I’ll write it down, I’ll shoot it and post it,” Watson tells RNZ’s Music 101.

This video is hosted on Youtube.

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“Imagine if there was an ‘average Joe’ lane at the Olympics. Every sport plays as it is, but there’s a lane there [where] it’s just a regular person,” is how Watson describes Out of My League – the new RNZ show where he puts himself to the test against New Zealand sports stars.

“It’s a fun way to hear some insights from our athletes, not your classic, boring Sky TV interview … You never fathom how impressive these people are – their drive, how stoic and mentally focused they are in their training.”

In the show, Watson jumps on a bike with Olympic gold medallist Ellesse Andrews at a velodrome – “extremely terrifying” – paddles with world champion freestyler Erika Fairweather, attempts a kayak sprint with Dame Lisa Carrington, and despite being “not great with heights” samples the new Olympic sport of speed climbing.

Jordan Watson with Portia Woodman-Wickliffe in an episode of Out of My League.

RNZ

It’s an “unhealthy amount of self-confidence” for someone who didn’t make the First 15 at high school, Watson says.

But while he loved rugby growing up, there was always “some kind of flair” for performing, too, and teasing by his mates for the “weird group dances” he liked making up with female friends.

On his last day of school, with no plan, Watson took up his school career advisor’s suggestion of studying radio at the Bay of Plenty polytech.

This video is hosted on Youtube.

On the first day there, he met the young woman who became his wife, Jody. After dating for two months, “head over heels in love” for the first time, he followed her to Auckland.

At 18, living with Jody and trying to get into the TV industry, Watson did “a massive mix of the most random things”.

Eventually, he got regular work on Eating Media Lunch and The Unauthorised History of New Zealand

Later, he fell into the “wonderful set-up” of the kids’ show Let’s Get Inventin’ before “jumping on the coattails” of comedians Jono Pryor and Ben Boyce and their satirical show Jono and Ben.

This video is hosted on Youtube.

Now lives in Papamoa with Jody and their three daughters, Watson went full-time as How To DAD in 2017.

As someone who likes to give things a go, even when it means “slightly putting his life at risk”, he says social media success has delivered him some awesome opportunities in the years since.

“[If someone said] ‘Hey, Jordan, you want to go try and hike Kilimanjaro in a month? I’d be like, ‘Yeah, if you’re inviting me, let’s give it a go.’ Why not? That’s my big thing.”

This video is hosted on Youtube.

Now a “koro” amongst New Zealand content creators, Watson says there’s still no guide or manual for becoming a social media person.

Although every video he posts as How To DAD gets “bounced off” his wife Jody, a TV production manager who’s on Instagram as How to MUM.

Although Jody sometimes “cringes” at the lucrative offers he turns down – “She’s like, that would really help the bank account, right?” – Watson says he has to choose carefully which brands to align himself with.

Committing to his comedic style and asserting that he knows his audience better than anyone else has been key to success and longevity as a content creator, he says.

“I have been hard to work with because of that… especially because comedy is such a fine line… You’re fighting. I have fought for ten years. It ages you. It’s way more work than what people think.”

Jordan Watson played:

‘Three Little Birds’ by Bob Marley

“This is basically my dad’s taste of music, it’s Bob Marley, it’s a lot of UB40.

“We lived five minutes out of town on a little lifestyle block – had like a sheep and a cow and a paddock. My dad’s an eel fisherman, and the record player would always have UB40 or Bob Marley going

“This one just takes me straight back to sitting in the lounge listening to dad’s music.”

This video is hosted on Youtube.

‘Sailing’ by Rod Stewart:

“My mum is British, and she was a Rod Stewart fanatic. He’s one of those singers that his voice just hasn’t faded. He can go right now and sing acapella and sound very similar to what he did back in the day.

“My mum passed away five years ago, six years ago coming up. And yeah, this one… it definitely gets you in the stomach each time.

“This is one of his more sad ones, but it also just takes me back, and this is Mum all over.”

This video is hosted on Youtube.

‘Everybody’ by The Backstreet Boys:

“This is Morrinsville Primary. I would have been nine or ten with Backstreet Boys pinned up on the wall.

“Me and four other guys at primary school formed our own Backstreet Boys. We could all sing back then Can’t sing as good these days.

“We were allowed to leave class and go around the junior classes. They’d get told the Backstreet Boys are coming, and we would come in. We were all one of the characters, and we would sing Backstreet Boys songs.”

This video is hosted on Youtube.

‘Not Many’ by Scribe:

“My dad grew up in Te Kauwhata, and we went there a lot… Every school holidays, we were just there constantly…

“Now he has a permanent spot there. So, we’re there every long weekend. My sisters and brothers bring their kids, all the cousins hang out. And it’s the coldest spot. I got married there.

“Scribe takes me back to when [my dad] had the batch with his ex-wife, my old stepmum. Heaps of us out in the backyard.

“I remember having the Scribe CD, and just being like, ‘Oh my gosh, who’s Eminem? Throw the Eminem away. We have our own Eminem. He was a game-changer.”

This video is hosted on Youtube.

‘All I Want Is You’ by Barry Louis Polisar

When he and Jody got married in Port Waikato in 2012, this was their cool, funky little walk down the aisle song.

“We paid $50 for the gardens. We paid $100 for the reception hall, and my dad took some whitebait fritters. Great night.”

This video is hosted on Youtube.

‘Tom’s Diner’ by AnnenMayKantereit and Giant Rooks:

“We have songs that sweep through our house and just stick, and this is one of them. I feel sorry for our neighbours, everyone is singing at the top of their voices. We’re all trying to sound like the guys singing it.

“It is amazing, and then you watch the video and see who the people are behind the song. You’re like, ‘That can’t be coming out of these people.’ It’s very cool.”

This video is hosted on Youtube.

– Published by EveningReport.nz and AsiaPacificReport.nz, see: MIL OSI in partnership with Radio New Zealand

March 1, 2026

Live: Wellington Phoenix v Sydney FC at Sky Stadium – A League

Source: Radio New Zealand

Photosport

The Wellington Phoenix host Sydney FC in their first A-League match coach Giancarlo Italiano sensationally quit after a 5-0 defeat to rivals Auckland FC.

Chris Greenacre steps into the role as the 11th-placed Phoenix play third-ranked Sydney at Sky Stadium in Wellington.

Kickoff is at 3pm.

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– Published by EveningReport.nz and AsiaPacificReport.nz, see: MIL OSI in partnership with Radio New Zealand

March 1, 2026

Lanes cleared after serious crash blocked Auckland’s Northwestern Motorway

Source: Radio New Zealand

Emergency services workers at the scene of a serious crash that blocked traffic on Auckland’s North Western Motorway on Sunday. RNZ

Lanes on Auckland’s Northwestern Motorway have now reopened following a serious crash.

An RNZ reporter said one car was wrecked in the Sunday morning crash, and by 11.30am traffic was built up as far as Hobsonville Rd.

Police said one person was seriously injured in the two-vehicle collision and two lanes had been closed.

By 2pm, all lanes had reopened.

RNZ

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– Published by EveningReport.nz and AsiaPacificReport.nz, see: MIL OSI in partnership with Radio New Zealand

March 1, 2026

Body of kayaker who went missing in Auckland’s Waiwera found

Source: Radio New Zealand

Surf lifesavers, police and the Coastguard during the search for the kayaker, north of Auckland, on Sunday. RNZ/ Nick Monro

The body of a kayaker missing near Auckland’s Waiwera has been found.

The man was seen coming out of his kayak, but then did not surface, and emergency services were called about 7.30am on Sunday, a police spokesperson said.

Police officers, the police Eagle helicopter team, Surf Lifesaving NZ lifeguards and Coastguard members responded immediately.

A police spokesperson said the man’s body was found on Sunday afternoon.

Police were providing his family with support and the death would be referred to the Coroner.

Sign up for Ngā Pitopito Kōrero, a daily newsletter curated by our editors and delivered straight to your inbox every weekday.

– Published by EveningReport.nz and AsiaPacificReport.nz, see: MIL OSI in partnership with Radio New Zealand

March 1, 2026

Hurricanes lose one of first-five for rest of Super Rugby campaign