Auckland-based midwife Sandy Wen is not just a mother to teenage chess player Luna Lu, who competes internationally in tournaments. She’s her comrade, her supporter, her teacher, her competitor and team player.
When Luna became intrigued by chess pieces at the age of eight during the Covid-19 pandemic, Wen naturally began learning alongside her daughter to help her, finding her own joy in it too.
In those days, they would play up to 10 games a day together, with Wen relying on her knowledge of Chinese chess.
Luna Lu competed at the FIDE World Cup in Batumi, Georgia in 2024.
Two New Zealanders have taken home one of the top prizes in the Spiel des Jahres, an annual awards event considered the Oscars of the board game world.
“[Luna] would only occasionally win again. But after only three months, she made a big progress. I realised I couldn’t take it lightly anymore,” Wen says. “She just improved so quickly, and I can’t beat her anymore.”
Wen feels Western chess is even more complicated than Chinese chess, offering more opportunities to counter and strategise – something she enjoys learning more about.
“Because I share this experience with her, I know that chess is not easy. So, I know she is doing an absolutely great job.”
With Luna being an only child as well, chess has offered them a chance to connect – even if they don’t play as often as they used to, she says.
Sandy Wen competing in Georgia in 2024.
Supplied / Sandy Wen
“[A sense of quiet understanding] just slowly grows between us across the chessboard.
“I also often find myself like less in the role of a teacher or like a parent. Sometimes it’s just more simply working alongside my daughter – while she learns to think more independently and I learn to slow down and to hold back my impatience.
“The silence while you’re thinking and the reset after a move … I have come to realise that this moment carries far more weight than any techniques or results. I just [really] enjoy this moment.”
Through chess, they’ve also been able to explore the world – a lifelong dream of Wen’s – including travel to Egypt, UAE, Georgia, Australia and Kazakhstan.
Next month will be the second time the duo are heading for an international chess tournament to compete at the same event – but in different classes. In June, Luna will also be representing New Zealand at the World Youth Chess Championships 2026 in Italy, competing in the Girls Under 16 section.
‘He opens up, he tells me he loves me’
When Phillip Simpson started to worry his son was getting lost in gaming he decided – rather than nag him to log off – log on and join him.
That decision, the author, teacher and educator says, has led to a flourishing relationship with his son, even though he admits he’s “rubbish” at gaming.
Phillip Simpson is an award-winning author, teacher educator, researcher and dad to a teenage son.
Supplied
Simpson says he had tried various other ways to engage with his son but none of them landed.
“All sorts of sports, culture activities, music, and it just didn’t resonate with him. And gaming is the only thing that he’s really interested in. And sometimes, you know, Mohamed has to go to the mountain.”
His teenage son, who has ADHD and dyslexia, has since started to communicate with him on a deeper level, he says. It’s also boosted his self-esteem.
“He talks to me, he opens up, he tells me he loves me, which for any father with a teenage son, that’s pretty powerful.
“He started doing things, like recently, cooking for us once a week or doing a bit of boxing with me, or we did the Tongariro crossing together.
“So, we’re building up this relationship. And I think that’s part due to the fact that I’m actually taking this time out and spending this quality time with him that he really engages with.”
Gaming can brings fathers and sons closer, says Phillip Simpson. (file image)
Unsplash
When it comes to gaming, his son is the expert in the room, he says.
“Sure, there’s aspects where he gets frustrated and takes the control off me. But then, there’s other times where he’ll actually calmly explain to me how it works.”
And the types of games his boy enjoys have benefits too, he says.
“He’s playing games that, for the large part, are ones where he’s problem solving, he’s building things.”
Because he’s in the gaming room, he’s created for the two of them, it gives Simpson a chance to monitor what’s happening on the screen too.
‘It was really hard work’
Doing adult gymnastics classes gave Victoria Young a greater appreciation of her son’s commitment. (File image)
Unsplash / Natalia Blauth
When Auckland-based mum of two Victoria Young – a former ballet dancer – was taking her son to gymnastics three years ago, she spotted just the thing to engage her on her day off from work – adult gymnastics classes.
“I didn’t really know much about what I was getting myself into,” Young says. “It was fun. I’ll tell you what, after two hours of doing all of that, I was absolutely buggered. It was really hard work.”
Although they never shared the same time doing the sport together – and she quit after less than a year – it’s given Young a greater appreciation of her son’s efforts. He’s in his fourth year of competing in men’s artistic gymnastics and trains about nine hours a week.
“When Bax comes away from his training, I like to ask him, ‘what did you do today that you were really proud of?’
“So rather than making it about everything he’s done in the class – because sometimes it can be overwhelming and you might come out of it and you’re flat because you’re tired or you’re hungry or whatever – just focusing on one thing that he knows that he did well is a good thing.”
Her proudest moment was being able to pull off a move on the vault – something she’d feared since primary.
“That’s probably the high that I got from going, is being able to overcome the fear or the doubt that you have in yourself about the things that you’re going to do. You get that little dopamine hit from being able to finally do it.”
– Published by EveningReport.nz and AsiaPacificReport.nz, see: MIL OSI in partnership with Radio New Zealand